Bikram Yoga, Day 9

This morning was a little better than yesterday. After sleeping through the night with the TENS unit running, I felt better in the morning, but not by much. I decided to try and move some.

My husband and daughter went up to the mountain with friends while I stayed home feeling sorry for myself.

Midafternoon I decided I would take a shower and try to get going. As I was standing under the water, I had a really hard time figuring out what day it was. Then I realized I pretty much lost all of yesterday sleeping off my back pain.

Out of the shower and dressed, I headed off to yoga.

I warned the instructor when I got there that I was not in the greatest shape and would have to modify but I felt like I needed to be there.

It was the MOST crowded class I've ever been in. Apparently there were 40 people present.

It was an instructor that I hadn't had before. They're all pretty good, but I have to say that I've preferred the two male instructors I've had so far. This one was knowledgeable, but when one person had to leave the room, she squawked at her for walking through when everyone was balancing on one leg. When the person who left didn't return, she asked another student to go check on her. He came back and picked up her mat and towel.

Down to 39 students, apparently.

It was HARD today. All my poses were worse than the first day. That got me to thinking that maybe taking pictures now would be a good gauge. I couldn't even do the "dead body" pose (lying flat on my back). At one point, she asked if I couldn't straighten my legs. I just shook my head. She asked if it was my back and I nodded.

At one point, I found myself crying. I'm still not sure why. It made me remember the woman from the first day who told me it's not uncommon to have emotional releases during yoga, so I just kept going. I was frustrated, hurting, and even angry at my reverse progress, but none of those--alone or combined--seemed to be enough to be making me that upset. Eventually the tears stopped, and long enough before the end of class that any remaining redness in my face was from the heat and not my minimeltdown.

I'm glad I "have" the yoga now because it does help me in a lot of ways. At the same time, I feel like I just start to take giant leaps of progress forward (okay, in my case, maybe more like bunny hops), and then suddenly I'm sliding backwards down a slippery hill and I can't get a grasp.

Lousy metaphor, whatever. I'm working on changing, I have a crappy setback, and I'm frustrated.

I guess I should be grateful I was able to get to yoga today, unlike yesterday.