A Little Bit of Everything

My husband was still sick, so he wasn't going to soccer like he normally does on Saturday mornings. This meant I could go to the yoga class at my fitness club.

Prior to Bikram yoga, I had taken two yoga classes in my entire life. One was about 12 or so years ago and came at a time when I mentally needed the meditation and it was an instructor that was especially good with blending the mind/body aspects of yoga. The second was at the club I'm at now, a few months ago.

This morning it was the same instructor I'd had most recently Having become quite used to the very descriptive language that the Bikram yoga instructors use, I was a little frustrated that despite telling us we would be given "lots of options" if we couldn't do a pose, that the options weren't described (arm here, hips there, shoulder out, breathe and think of reaching toward the mirror, for example) so much as named (go to X pose).

It was actually a pretty good class, although it certainly makes me realize how well-trained the Bikram instructors are. Granted, they follow a specific routine every single time, so they'd better do it well, but they know that routine so well and it is so easy for a beginner to join in, for me it makes a huge difference.

The other interesting thing was that I've become so accustomed to the heat during yoga that I wasn't even feeling the temperature in the room at the fitness club. I was perfectly comfortable--it hadn't even crossed my mind that it was warm. It was a full class and a bit crowded, so apparently the room heated up more than others were used to as when the instructor asked, "Would you like the fan on?" I would guess that over half the class gasped, "YES!!"

Ironically, I didn't want it and I was right in front of it. Funny how that goes.

It was very strange to feel "cool" while doing yoga, and honestly, it seemed to make it more challenging as I could feel my muscles resisting more.

We did a bunch of poses that we don't do in Bikram, including a lot of stretches that focused on the hip flexors. Since I've been beginning to feel that much of my pain may lie in hip flexor issues (tightness and/or an imbalance in usage/strength as compared to other muscles), it actually felt quite good.

Afterward, I hopped into the pool to time my 500 yard swim, since I have to enter that when I register for my next triathlon (registration begins--and ends--on Tuesday). It came out at 12 minutes flat (okay, technically 11:59:77). Not as good as I'd hoped, but also not as bad as I'd feared, especially considering how sick I've been and how little chance I've had to actually swim much lately.

Then I went and sat in the hot tub. Seriously, still my favorite part of the workout.

Then in the afternoon I got to judge an optional gymnastics meet with my new judge's rating. It was a ton of fun, good experience, and I even got paid for it this time. Good thing, as I need it for my registration fees.

I'm Not Sure Why I Try To Plan . . .

Bikram Yoga, Day 16

I finally had a morning where I both felt physically able (in terms of my back) and healthily able (in terms of this stupid cold) that I could make it to yoga, so I did.

Three days between classes seems to be too much though as even though I made progress on a number of poses on Monday, I didn't do as well on the same things today. Also, lying on my back started me coughing really badly, so I had to sit up instead of lie down during the rest times.

I had a couple of massages scheduled today and felt better that one of them was nearly as discombobulated as I was and surprised when I rang the doorbell. The good news is we scheduled through to the end of February, so I can kind of plan on a little bit of income again.

Since my husband was still too sick to work, he wasn't up for family swim night either. I'd hoped one of the neighbor girls could come along and watch my daughter so that I could swim laps for a bit. Turns out they couldn't but it was probably a good thing because when I got to the pool, it was apparently high school team night and there were no lanes open to swim anyway.

I'd talked to my daughter's swim teacher about the things she wanted me to work on in the pool for reinforcement. My daughter had other plans and reasoning with a 3-year-old is like trying to convince a goldfish to fly, so I gave up on that too.

Still Scattered

Today was the first day my daughter got to start in the next level of gymnastics class. Thinking I was planning well, I was very proud of myself that I got her home, fed, and into bed for a nap much more quickly than usual.

When I heard the phone ringing right as she was falling to sleep--and it jolted her out of her near-snooze, I was annoyed and ignored it. Half an hour later, when she was sound asleep, I checked my messages.

I missed my Dr. Amy appointment. Argh.

But gymnastics went well.

Being Serious=Training When I Don't Want To

Bikram Yoga, Day 15

On the Bikram Yoga web site, it says that 95% of your workout is showing up. There are days that I can't even say how much that is true.

Considering my feet were wrapped with moleskin and tape to cover my very tender blisters (which did not break, but that didn't keep me from mincing around like a pansy), I was pretty proud of myself for going at all.

It was a good thing I did because I made more progress today than any other day I've done it.

1) In half moon pose, I was suddenly able to bend--I'd been nearly vertical (looking almost like I wasn't participating), and suddenly I went to about 45 degrees, or maybe further.

2) In eagle pose, I grabbed my fingertips on the left side for the first time.

3) In balancing separate leg stretching, I managed to lean forward properly into the posture without bending my knees or having to otherwise modify it.

4) My fingers touched while in locust pose.

5) I was able to lift my left leg off of the floor in locust pose.

6) In separate leg stretching pose, I got my fingers to touch around my foot on both sides.

7) In the spine twisting pose, I managed to get my foot flat on the floor in both directions.

So apparently it was a good thing I showed up this morning.

Choose Your Own Title for Today

As I was thinking about what I wanted to write for today's entry, I kept thinking of titles--some longer (not necessarily better) than others--but so many kept popping into my head that I decided to make the entire post in title form.

Thank Goodness We Spent the Night on the Mountain, Because 7:00am Was Too Early To Get Up As It Was

Not Sure Why I Bother Setting a Time To Leave Because My Husband Is Always on Moroccan Time Anyway.

What's Taking You So Long? I Was Waiting for YOU. Well, I Was Waiting for YOU. Hmm.

Weird. Despite Starting on Moroccan Time, We Got There an Hour Early.

Thank Goodness They Didn't Check ID at Registration Because I Left Mine at Home.

Apparently This Is a Laid-Back, Casual Event as they Let Me Switch to the 4K (WHEW) at Check-In.

Interesting. Several People in Costumes.

Casual Race=Registration Check-In Lady Literally Said It Was OK To Have Alcohol in Hydration Pack.

This Is Bad. Toes Numb Already and Race Doesn't Start for 40 Minutes.

Thanks to the Miracle of Chemical Science (Instant Hot Packs), My Toes Defrost Just In Time for the Race.

Casual Race=Briefing Consists of "Trail Marked by Yellow Cones and Flags. 4K=1 Lap, 8K=2 Laps. Any Questions?"

Casual Race=Right Before Start of Race, Announcer Says, "Oh, If You're Racing--That Is, If You Have a Number On, You Might Want To Start In Front of the Gate...Ready, Set, Go!"

Starting at the Back of the Pack Was Wise as Otherwise Clearly Would Have Been Trampled.

Oh Dear. Joked Earlier Than Someone Has To Be Last, Might As Well Be Me, But Now Worried It Might Be True.

Smart People Bring Sunglasses. I'm Not One of Them.

Casual Race=Your Dog Can Come With You. (Seriously, People Did That!) (Not Me Though.)

Thank Goodness for Bikram Yoga Acclimating Me To Exercising While Overheated Because Only 100 Yards from Start and Sweatshirt Proving To Be Bad Idea.

Goal Today: Doesn't Matter How Slow, Just Keep Going.

Note To Self for Future on Proper Equipment: Rental Fees Worth It vs. "We Have It So It Will Do."

Bad Part of Dog Racing with You Is Doody Duty. (At Least I Passed Someone)

Worse Part of Dogs Racing with You Is People Who DON'T Do Doody Duty.

Holy Bad Words, We're Snowshoeing Up THAT Hill?!

Whatever Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger?

Okay, If that Last Bit Is True, Tomorrow There Will Either Be a Funeral or a New All-American Powerlifter.

Wait a Minute, I Can't Find Any Flags. What Happened to the Trail?

Don't Blame Me, I Was Following THEM.

LOOK! There's the Trail. Hmm. I Liked the Other One Better.

Wow! I'm Not Even at the Halfway Point and I Just Got Lapped.

I'm NOT Going To Be Depressed that I was Lapped Before Halfway. Instead I'm Going to Cheer Him On!

I Swear This 4K Is Harder Than the Triathlon.

Elevation *Gasp***Pant***Gasp* Sucks.

Right as I Was Excited to Start Downhill, My Legs Went Wobbly.

Smart Me Packed "Gel Shots." Not-So-Smart Me Hadn't Actually Tasted One Before.

Note to Self on Snacks for Events: Try Some Before the Race as May Be Gross.

Another Weird Hangup I Have Is Certain Food Textures: Gel Shots Like Glue, But Harder to Swallow.

Not Sure If Gel Shots Are So Much Like Glue as Like That Horrible Liquid Dentist Used To Put in Trays and Leave in My Mouth When I Was a Kid. Both=YUCK.

When Needing To Eat SOMETHING and All I Have is a Gel Shot, Large Gulps of Water and Swallow Like Pill Make It Slightly More Tolerable.

Casual Race=I Just Passed People Drinking Beer.

At Least I Will Beat Someone.

Have Decided Anyone Running--Or, For that Matter, Anyone Passing Me--Deserves Cheering and Clapping, So I Do.

Hmm. Apparently Need to Research Blister Prevention as Right Foot Not Feeling So Good.

Trail Beautiful But Narrow. My Just Keep Going Rule Is Suspended To Get Out of Way of Fast People Running Through.

Some People Kick Up a Lot of Snow.

Thank Goodness They Let Me Switch to 4K Because Feeling Sorry For Myself About Blister.

2-Way Radio Husband Made Me Carry Is Nice. Inform Him of Blister. Sadly, No Sympathy.

Radio Conversation with Husband. Him: Are You Done? Me: Thanks for Your Vote of Confidence, But Nowhere Near It.

Love Husband Who Places Great Faith In Me.

So Nice To See Husband While I Was Out On Course. Then Sad Because There Would Be No One for Me at Finish.

Left Foot Now Adding To Reminder about Blister Prevention Knowledge.

My Mantra: Please Don't Let My Blisters Break Please Don't Let My Blisters Break Please Don't Let My Blisters Break Before I Finish.

At Least the Race Workers Cheered Me Across the Finish.

YAY ME! 1 Race Done!

It Was So Nice To Have People Cheer Me In at Catalina, Even Though I Was Almost Last, I Will Do the Same for Anyone Finishing After Me.

Good Thing I Decided To Cheer on Finishers Because Husband Locked Car.

Glad I Stayed To Cheer Finishers After Me Because Toward the End, Even Race Staff Left.

Too Bad We Couldn't Afford the Race Shirt Because It's Cool.

A Raffle? Pick ME Pick ME! Seriously, You Picked Me?

How Lucky Am I? Couldn't Afford the Race Shirt, But Number Drawn First In Raffle for Free Shirt, YAY!

Husband On Radio: Are You Coming Up? We're Eating. Me: Are You Kidding? I'm Done for Today.

Note To Self for Future Events: Tell Husband To Be AT Finish So I Don't Have To Wait One Hour and 25 Minutes To Get Into Locked Car.

Saw Many Costumes Today. ACK! Just Realized a Heineken Beer Bottle Beat Me.

Overall Winner of 8K Amazing. Finished 8K BEFORE ANYONE from the 4K finished.

Some Raffle Prizes Cool. Others? Well, One Lady Won a Cow Femur (Seriously). Even Her Dog Looked Confused.

Apparently Feeling Better. Not Only Did I Snowshoe a 4K, But Lifted Pooped-Out 85-Pound Golden Retriever Into Car.

Trying To Take Some Family Off Time

By family off time, I don't mean get away from my family, but rather have some time for the family to spend together and unwind.

My husband has some friends who have a "cottage" up on the mountain. I've known them for about 9 years now--I first met them when at her baby shower when she was pregnant with their first child. Their "cottage" may actually be larger than their home in town...and I really like it up there. It has some unique features--the orange carpet reminds me a bit too much of the same stuff my parents had in the '70s, but the fireplace in the living room that has space for hanging and drying your snow clothes (or your frozen snowy self) around it is really neat.

They've been asking us to come up on the weekend with them for ages. It seems that nearly every time, I'm busy, so my husband has gone alone, or just taken our daughter. Since I was planning on the snowshoe race, I asked him to see if this weekend would be a good one for our family to visit.

Turns out it was. I quickly entered the race online, and didn't pay the extra for the Tshirt because we're already tight on funds as it is. I was dismayed to find out that I'd registered for the 8K as I'd only intended to register for the 4K, but they didn't offer an option. Hopefully they'll let me switch tomorrow. If not, well, I'll do what I can.

In the meanwhile, we had a delicious dinner that I ate way too much of but enjoyed thoroughly, and then we snuggled in for the evening.

Progress in Locust Poses

Bikram Yoga, Day 14

On my first day of yoga, when we were getting into the locust pose, I really struggled at the "resting" part of the posture. Essentially, you're supposed to lie face down, but there's a twist.

A big twist.

Of your arms. If you imagine sitting, putting your arms in front of you, straight, then turning them outward until your pinkies touch (palms to the ceiling), this is the arm position.

But remember: this is done while lying face down, meaning that your arms are like this underneath you.

Needless to say, at the first class, I couldn't do it. I could rotate my arms and lie face down, but there was NO getting my hands underneath my body.

The second class, I did manage to get my arms underneath, but I couldn't do it with them straight.

A couple of weeks ago, I started to be able to get straight arms slightly underneath me. Today they were totally underneath me. (Not yet touching though.)

On a different and weird note, my body has decided to become lopsided. The extra insulation/cushion/padding (whatever you want to call it) around my belly has shifted. In the full locust pose (no arms underneath), I kept rolling to the right because apparently I have greater quantities of insulation on my left.

My hope is that I have lost some of the cushioning on my right and not just gained on my left. Because even if I lose weight lopsidedly, I'll take it.

Apparently I Should Read My Email

Actually walked my daughter to preschool today, but drove her home. Visited Amazing Dr. Amy and got my back fixed up.

Was thinking it would be kind of a slow day, and showed up to preschool registration (for next year) totally unprepared. Apparently I was supposed to print, fill out, and provide payment when I showed up. I ended up running home in a panic--because I could potentially lose my daughter's place in the preschool without the registration payment--and asking my husband for a check.

Which sent him into a panic because our budget has become rather tight and his business had some unexpected expenses.

We ended up getting to reserve her place. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed by the many things I'm involved in and trying to find a way to exit. The problem is, at some level, I am very concerned and connected to all of the things I'm involved in and don't know how to cut some of those ties.

So I've decided to set a side goal: No more commitments to organizations, no matter how much I care about them, and reduce the number of commitments I have by the end of the year.

Then I will have time to read my email and not appear such a spastic uniformed dork when I show up for things.

If It's Not One Thing, It's Another

Bikram Yoga, Day 13

This stupid cold I've got is just kicking my butt. I did drag myself to yoga again, but still feel like I'm worse at it than when I started. The coughing I've got with this cold hurts my back so badly I've fallen down a couple times already. I didn't have too many coughing fits in yoga, fortunately.

I came home, showered, and slept in. Then I spent the rest of the day just trying to manage to take care of myself and my little one.

Friendship Is Still Liking the Person After They Torture You

Bikram Yoga, Day 12

I convinced one of my friends that I go hiking with to go to yoga with me today. Since the guy that owns the studio I normally go to also owns one that is closer to my friend (and not too much further from the one I go too in terms of drive time), we went to the one closer to her.

It was a ROUGH day for me at yoga. I don't know if it was because my back has been so awful this week, I haven't been to yoga in a week, this studio seemed WAY hotter than the one I normally go to, I was dehydrated this morning (if you don't know what method I use to figure that out, I'm not telling you in the interests of you probably don't actually want to know), or I seem to have a cold coming on and my nose is stuffed up, but whoa.

It was probably some combination of everything.

The teacher was awesome though--the best female teacher I've had so far.

The good news about today's class was that in eagle pose I actually managed to slightly interlock my fingers for the first time (for those of you unfamiliar, it means that I was able to twist my arms into the pose better).

The bad news is that it was the first time I felt utterly lightheaded and like I just wasn't going to make it through the class. I just sat for awhile, unable to participate in the poses. After a few poses like that, the instructor came by and whispered, "Are you okay?"

One of the things that is REALLY stressed for Bikram yoga is that you STAY. IN. THE. ROOM. I honestly don't know all of the principles behind it, but it is distracting when people leave, it can release the heat of the room, and for yourself, you still get the benefit if you can "hang in there" and rejoin the poses when can.

So my response to the instructor was, "I'm just trying to stay in the room right now."

She smiled at me like I'd given her the right answer and left me alone.

One of the other things about Bikram Yoga is that the instructors don't do the poses or demonstrate anything (usually--I've had one class where an instructor demonstrated a pose and it was mostly because the whole class was falling all over the place and he was demonstrating techniques for adjusting balance on it). Instead of demonstrations, they verbally describe everything you are supposed to do: where to move, where to focus your eyes, what muscles to tighten--everything.

They will offer pose corrections and frequently help out individuals who are struggling, but they don't slow down the class (or speed it up) depending on the skill level. Essentially it is the same exact class, every single time. The only differences are slight in how the instructors relay information or give encouragement. Also, whenever there are brand new students to yoga, they make sure to give them special attention and encouragement (as well as have the whole class clap for them at the end, which is really nice).

Part of what made me like this instructor was that near the end of class, she said, "I bet you two new people are really loving your so-called friends right now for dragging you here."

It got a good laugh--especially from my friend, who did sign up for the one month special.

Afterward, she came over to my home and I gave her a massage. I owed her one. We decided to set up a weekly trade, which we both need.

I gave two other massages later in the day.

I guess I'll know tomorrow if it's giving massages that hurts my back or if I was right to blame it on the laundry the other day.

Moderation? What's That?

So CLEARLY I still haven't learned about moderation.

Yesterday I was feeling so good that I gave a massage and then did heaps of laundry.

Which meant this morning I was feeling so good that I crawled--yes, literally crawled--to the bathroom.

Oddly, I think it was doing the laundry that did it more than giving the massage. I was taught what is referred to as "body mechanics" in school and have always been extremely conscious of how I use them. I'm even more so when I'm dealing with a flare-up of my back.

Laundry, on the other hand...our machine is a front loader and we didn't get the extra storage units that go underneath and add height to the machine. They cost too much for what they were and weren't even tall enough to hold a standard size box of detergent, so we decided they were overpriced and useless.

Which means now, nearly 8 years after purchasing them, it is agonizing to bend over and reach in and pull out the laundry.

Oh yes, and one other lovely detail is that because of where they are located in the house and the depth measurement of the machines, the dryer is on the left. This means that instead of the washer door opening away from the dryer and vice versa, the two doors open into each other, creating a little obstacle course for the laundry to travel around when moving it.

Things that are normally just "quirks" about our house or how things are arranged become actual problems when I'm this messed up.

So all of the bending and twisting and leaning and bending to do the laundry is probably what did my back in.

Which means that even though there's still so much laundry that we can't sit on the couch...I'm not doing it until I feel quite a bit better.

Or at least until I have a day that does not involve crawling.

What Free Time?

I got up this morning and madly rushed my daughter off to preschool.

When I got home I realized that I volunteered four days in a row--and was gone a minimum of 9 hours and maximum of 13.5 hours each day.

I got to visit Amazing Dr. Amy, who fixed me up, including work on my psoas and other hip flexors (which are starting to feel like they are a significant part of my back issues).

I was feeling so good that I was no longer worried about giving a massage treatment to my client that I had coming over. The treatment went well and all was good.

I had plans to go to a meeting for my daughter's preschool and then work out.

That was the plan.

Then we had freezing rain and although I love my car, the one feature it does not have is four wheel drive, and while it does okay in snow, both of the other cars I've owned did much better, so when the preschool meeting was canceled, I ended up not going anywhere.

I spent the rest of the night on laundry, which is piling up faster than I can keep up.

Time to Give Back

After getting home late late last night, I got up early this morning and headed to another gymnastics meet, for Junior Olympic (JO) gymnastics. This time I got to judge all day long: 3 sessions of what is called "optional" gymnastics.

Gymnastics in the United States is competed as "compulsory" (where every athlete has the same routine--so a kid from Texas has the same routine as a kid from California) or "optional" (where every athlete has a different routine).

Judging compulsories is not something I would call "easy" as anyone who does it has to have a fair amount of technical knowledge. However, it is "easy" in that the routines are the same, so the standard deductions apply to each kid and each routine. Also, compared to optionals, compulsories are easy.

Judging optionals is difficult, and at each level of increasing difficulty for the athletes, it also gets harder for the judges. Each optional level has a set of requirements that they must fulfill while simultaneously meeting difficulty standards. If the standards aren't met, then the "start value" goes down. (So instead of starting at a 10.0, they might start at a 9.5).

That doesn't even count all of the execution deductions (bent knees when they should be straight, for example). Then, as the level gets higher, there are "composition" deductions. Essentially, these make sure that there are certain stylistic elements to the choreography. Add a level and you also have to consider "bonus" combinations: if the athlete does two things immediately connected of certain difficulty values, it's worth extra points on the start value. Add another level and you have difficulty bonus, where the athlete is rewarded for extra-difficult skills.

Did I mention that there are also penalties at some of the levels for doing skills that are too difficult?

Or that the code of points, which lists all of the rules and skills available to the athletes is over an inch thick and the judges basically need to know ALL of it?

Confused yet?

That's why I failed my Level 9 test.

Twice.

But I passed it back in December, so finally get to judge at the level (and get paid at a higher value). Well, the pay comes when I'm not volunteer judging, like I was today. The volunteering pays for other things and raises money to help train new judges, though. Plus it's fun.

Even if it is all I get to do all day.

Time For Me

My posts titles are not going to be very exciting if I just title them by my Bikram Yoga count, so I'll just note it at the beginning. Bikram Yoga, Day 11

Today I was finally able to return to yoga, but it was once again a challenging day for me, where I felt like I was in Reverse Progress mode again.

What was nice about today was that I was able to arrange to have my daughter play with a friend so that I could go and volunteer at a college gymnastics meet. I got to be a bar and floor timer, so I was right next to the judges and got to see some really great--even though it was early season--college gymnastics.

It was nice to come home to my family, but I have to say that getting the away time at something I love was so nice.

Complications? Or Just Sucks To Be Me Today?

It had not been my intention, when I laid down to ice last night, to fall asleep for the rest of the evening and not get up until the morning. That's what happened though, and when I woke up at the time my yoga class was supposed to start, I was initially annoyed.

Until I tried to move.

Missing yoga is not going to be my biggest problem today.

One of the things I've done the past couple of days is wear my TENS unit almost constantly. I'd left it in the car after visiting Dr. Amy yesterday, so I gimped out and got it and hooked myself back up, turned it on, and...the batteries were dead.

I found a new pair, took some of the pain medication and went back to lie down.

My daughter woke up and came in about 5 minutes later, demanding food.

I gave up on the lying down and started trying to move around the house.

I spent the rest of the day counting down the minutes to my next dose of pain medication. I'm not sure why I bothered as even when I "felt" it working, I still couldn't straighten--or bend. I was stuck at about 1:30, if I were hands on a clock.

I spent the day alternating between feeling sorry for myself and feeling like a horrible mother as I was ordering my 3-year-old around to take care of her and me.
I'd called Kaiser because I was worried about a different symptom I was having (which, trust me, you are glad that I am not going to share the details of here) and the nurse on the phone had told me to NOT take the pain medication while I was responsible for my child because it would make me drowsy. If only. I was in too much pain to fall back to sleep. She told me to "just get a family member or friend to watch her" and then I could take my medication.

I don't know what world she lives in, but even though I could probably get someone to feel sorry for me (even if it was just to shut me up), there's no way I could get them to drop their life, job, and children to come and take care of mine. Choosing diplomacy, I told her it wasn't an option for me. She kept saying, "You mean NO ONE? Not even a NEIGHBOR? Isn't there ANYONE? What about your HUSBAND?"

Thank you, Nurse Sensitivity, but NO, my husband has no paid leave left, the closest family is an hour away, my friends have work, and my neighbors--I like them all, but again, they have their own lives that they can't drop for mine.

I couldn't even take my daughter to her swimming lessons because I certainly can't drive on the pain medication (well, I FEEL fine, but I have a feeling if I were pulled over, that would go over as well as "but I only had a few drinks, Officer," so I'm not going anywhere).

Not even my daughter got exercise today.

Reverse Progress

It was HARD to get out of bed this morning. Not because I was tired--I slept great and was ready to get up. I hurt even worse than yesterday though.

Determined to go to yoga, I slowly levered myself out of bed, trying to keep myself from moaning so loud I'd wake the rest of the house up (it was 5:00am), and was furious that I didn't get my yoga mat and towels ready last night when I could sort of move so that I wouldn't have to bend over to get them this morning.

There was an instructor I haven't had before that was teaching this morning. I had SUCH a hard time going through the poses that I actually had to skip a few and just sit/lie down. I was glad I was there, but once again frustrated.

I got home and had to hurry around the house to get my daughter ready for school. I took pain medication when I got home because I was so physically dysfunctional, but this meant that she and I had to walk to school since what they prescribed for me last Friday is so strong I'm not supposed to drive while taking it.

It was also my day for parent helping, which was a bit of a challenge since we have to bend over to pick up toys, sit at miniature tables designed for 3- to 4-year-olds, and lift small children up to the adult-sized sinks to wash their hands.

Add to that one of the little squirts was particularly uncooperative, so at one point the teacher put me in charge of 14 kids while she went to go get one who refused to come inside. I ended up just reading a story because I figured it would be appropriate for me to sit down while doing so.

After preschool, we walked home. My pain medication was starting to wear off and I had a chiropractor appointment, so I drove there.

Amazing Dr. Amy did Grasston work on my left hip flexors, quads, adductors, and both sides glutes and low back.

I actually left her office not in pain at all--and this was after the painkillers had worn off entirely!

So when one of my clients called for an appointment, we scheduled for later in the afternoon. I was extremely careful with my body mechanics and utilized my stool. When I got home, I was still doing fine, but Dr. Amy had told me to ice, so I laid down and did.

And fell asleep.

Bikram Yoga, Day 10

Getting out of bed this morning was rough again. I'd gone to sleep with my TENS unit on again, but two of the electrode patches fell off. I was again thankful for the bedposts to haul myself into an upright position and only temporarily questioned my sanity to head back to yoga this morning despite my pain.

Today was the first day of the new schedule for yoga--6:00am class. I arrived plenty early and managed to get my favorite spot in the room, where I spent about 10 minutes trying to get just to the dead body pose (from the description, you'd think it would be easy--not so much when muscles are in total spasm).

Again, it was very difficult to do some of the poses and I had to move in and out of them in my own way. It wasn't quite as hard as yesterday though.

Good news: on the prone single leg lift poses, I was actually able to lift my foot off of the floor on BOTH sides. Okay, so it only came up like a half inch, but that was HUGE for me. Still a no go lifting both legs at the same time though.

I'd talked to the instructor before class and warned him that I would be "extra modified" today. After class he commented that he didn't notice that I did anything that modified.

This made me feel good and bad at the same time. Good because he thought I was doing well, bad because he hadn't seen the progress I HAD made, so it didn't look like I'd regressed (which I had).

When I got home, I did take some more of the pain stuff. I had cleaning and things to do and needed to be able to bend in order to do them. Even with the meds, it's still stiff--which is kind of a good thing because it's a reminder to use good postures and body mechanics. Since this flare-up is still so recent, it's hard to know if I'm overdoing it though.

I guess I'll know when they wear off later...

Bikram Yoga, Day 9

This morning was a little better than yesterday. After sleeping through the night with the TENS unit running, I felt better in the morning, but not by much. I decided to try and move some.

My husband and daughter went up to the mountain with friends while I stayed home feeling sorry for myself.

Midafternoon I decided I would take a shower and try to get going. As I was standing under the water, I had a really hard time figuring out what day it was. Then I realized I pretty much lost all of yesterday sleeping off my back pain.

Out of the shower and dressed, I headed off to yoga.

I warned the instructor when I got there that I was not in the greatest shape and would have to modify but I felt like I needed to be there.

It was the MOST crowded class I've ever been in. Apparently there were 40 people present.

It was an instructor that I hadn't had before. They're all pretty good, but I have to say that I've preferred the two male instructors I've had so far. This one was knowledgeable, but when one person had to leave the room, she squawked at her for walking through when everyone was balancing on one leg. When the person who left didn't return, she asked another student to go check on her. He came back and picked up her mat and towel.

Down to 39 students, apparently.

It was HARD today. All my poses were worse than the first day. That got me to thinking that maybe taking pictures now would be a good gauge. I couldn't even do the "dead body" pose (lying flat on my back). At one point, she asked if I couldn't straighten my legs. I just shook my head. She asked if it was my back and I nodded.

At one point, I found myself crying. I'm still not sure why. It made me remember the woman from the first day who told me it's not uncommon to have emotional releases during yoga, so I just kept going. I was frustrated, hurting, and even angry at my reverse progress, but none of those--alone or combined--seemed to be enough to be making me that upset. Eventually the tears stopped, and long enough before the end of class that any remaining redness in my face was from the heat and not my minimeltdown.

I'm glad I "have" the yoga now because it does help me in a lot of ways. At the same time, I feel like I just start to take giant leaps of progress forward (okay, in my case, maybe more like bunny hops), and then suddenly I'm sliding backwards down a slippery hill and I can't get a grasp.

Lousy metaphor, whatever. I'm working on changing, I have a crappy setback, and I'm frustrated.

I guess I should be grateful I was able to get to yoga today, unlike yesterday.

It's a New Year, and I Already Lost a Day

When I woke up, I had full intentions of going to yoga at 10:00. I wasn't in pain, it wasn't too early, I'd slept really well. Hooray! Great start to the new year!

Then I tried to move.

I couldn't straighten when I stood up. Not just stiff and had to move slowly, but could NOT straighten. Bent over like a hunchback, with my hands on my knees supporting my upper body, I thumped into the bathroom and nearly cried at the effort it took just to lift the toilet lid.

Perhaps I overdid it yesterday while drugged to numbness?

I thumped into the kitchen, had some leftovers and some more pain medication. I got out my heating pad and my TENS unit and strapped them both on.

Then I went back to bed.

The rest of the day was a bit of a pain haze. I was utterly useless because I couldn't move but not as bad as my last flare-up where I actually had a conversation in my head as to whether the painful effort of making it to the restroom was worth it. (Making it there won out over not bothering--but only because I realized cleaning up the mess would require more effort in the long run.)

I feel like I say this a lot, but I hope tomorrow is better.

By the way, this entire post was constructed two days later, when I was finally able to piece a timeline together--that's how out of it I was.