Required Reading

Several weeks ago, my doctor recommended a book to me. I was told I had to read it (kindly) because it would really make sense to me and was well-researched, well-written, and laid out in a manner that was understandable.

i finally ordered the book a couple of weeks back, but set it aside until last night, when once I started reading, I got through half of it before I turned off the light and went to sleep (well past 1:00am). I finished it today.

My doctor was right, but possibly more than she even knew (or maybe she recommended it specifically because she knew how much it would affect me). I hadn't ordered it right away for two reasons: 1) my still-present "denial" behaviors around my weight mean that if I order a "diet book" (which I wouldn't categorize this as, but it does kind of fall into that category), then I'm admitting that I need a diet and run the possible risk of (gasp!) someone seeing the book, which for me is more embarrassing than just someone seeing me at my current (lack of) fitness level. Also I didn't order it right away because 2) I forgot.

Hmm. I could go into a whole different digression on the term "fitness level" now after reading the book. Another day, perhaps.

Interestingly, this book promotes a dietary lifestyle that is recommended for diabetics by nutritionists and doctors. Many of the choices and needs that help diabetics also help the diabetics lose weight--often significantly so. Yet these dietary instructions go strongly against all other medical accepted practices for weight loss.

What struck me the most, when I was done reading, aside that I could stop trying to starve myself or try to do things in "moderation" (we all know how well I do with moderation anyway), and NOT feel hungry AND eat foods I enjoy, was relief. Relief from the self-inflicted guilt and shame about being overweight. Relief from the magnification and internalization of remarks made to me (whether kind or unkind, well-intentioned or just plain rude). Relief that, if this holds up and I can implement it, I'm not a failure, which is what has been reinforced every time I've tried to do anything about my weight.

The challenge is that, like I said, much of the information presented in the book goes against all medical advice regarding weight loss. Yet curiously, it is nearly exactly what is recommended for diabetics (in particular, Type II) to "treat" the disease and its corresponding symptoms. Essentially, it is low-carbohydrate.

For me, the irony is that while the guidelines described are used to treat diabetes (and, when used successfully and maintained, help the individual lose weight), the same advice is not recommended to prevent diabetes--only the losing weight part, which a different diet is advised. Only those individuals with high blood sugar over extended periods of time are recommended to follow this advice--and honestly, only part of it.

We'll have to see how it goes.