Determined or Delusional? A Little Bit of Both, I Think

So now I know.

Yes.

I can finish a triathlon.

So it took me almost 2.5 hours to finish. And I came in second to last in my division.

But I did it.

Here's the rundown (or, er, walkdown, as it was in my case).

Got up about 6:00 and started getting ready organizing things I couldn't do last night. Woke up my daughter, washed and dressed her, loaded up all my gear for the triathlon, and walked down to the transition area, where security was already in full force.

I didn't have my orange wristband on, so they didn't want to let me in. Prepared for this, but having forgotten which side it was supposed to be on, I pulled it out and asked. Turns out it didn't matter. It did, however, matter that I had my daughter with me. I asked if I could bring her in since obviously, I couldn't leave a 3-year-old alone on the sidewalk. Because she was so young, they did let her in, but when she saw me putting on my bracelet, she said, "Mom, I want a bracelet, too!"

Just as I was beginning to explain that I was sorry she couldn't have one, a security guy said, "I can get you one right over here." She was THRILLED.

This should have been my first hint that my big moment of today would end up being about her and not me.

On the way over to my section of the transition area, I came across another security volunteer, who eyed my daughter suspiciously. Seeing his look, I said, "They said she could come in to set up my transition area with me."

He said, "That's fine, but do you have someone to watch her during the race?"

Rather than going into a long explanation about Dad ending up staying in a different hotel, not having met up with them yet this morning, blah blah blah, I just replied, "Oh yes, of course. He just didn't want to get out of bed this early."

To which the guy laughed and let us pass.

I took my time setting up my transition area and when I was satisfied with the setup, I went and got bodymarked (this was new to me--it's when they write your number on you to identify you and for security). Again, my daughter wanted her OWN markings. They drew a smiley face on her arm.

Hint #2 that today might not end up being about me.

Finished with all the details I could take care of, I headed out for breakfast. I ran into my sister's family and my dad. My sister still hadn't set up her area, so Dad came with me and my daughter to eat breakfast.

Then it was a bunch of semi-nervous running around time, making sure everything was in place, eventually having my sister haul me into my rented wetsuit, testing it out in the water (SO thankful for the wetsuit because it was COLD, but tolerable with the suit). I swam for just a little ways to see if I could adjust to all my new things: noseplug, new swim cap (given to us and required for the event), wetsuit, and open water.

I felt okay.

Mine was the last "wave" to start the swim. Before our start gun went off, there were already people from the first wave into the bicycle portion of the event.

At least I didn't have any delusions about winning or anything.

When our start finally went off for the swim, I waded in and started swimming and realized what a newbie total dork I was.

I'd taken my goggles off my eyes and perched them on my forehead.

And left them there when I started swimming.

I stopped, stood up, put my STUPID goggles back over my eyes, and started again.

I didn't get far before I was getting tired, but swore to myself I would NOT hang on to a lifeguard apparatus. Unless I was going to otherwise drown, of course, but if I was tired, I was going to do a "rest" stroke.

I ended up doing a lot of breast stroke because it was actually a lot of work. I think I may have "fought" the buoyancy of the wetsuit some. Anyway, after the first marker in the water, I was tired enough that I flipped over to my back and kicked to rest.

The gentle rocking of the waves nearly made me hurl I got motion sick so quickly. Rolled back over to my stomach and started swimming again.

Swam over a couple of schools of fish.

Between boats.

Passed an orange cap! (Hey! They started 3 minutes before me! Yay me, I passed someone!)

Passed a white cap! 6 minutes before my start.

Passed a RED cap! 9 minutes before my start.

Okay, so they were REALLY slow swimmers, because I got 15th out of 22 on the swim for my division, but I passed someone.

Swim took me just under 20 minutes. Slow, but better than I'd expected.

When I got to the end of the swim, THANK GOODNESS for the railing or I wouldn't have been able to walk. I staggered to my transition space, trying to pull off my wetsuit (couldn't grab the zipper pull that had kept getting in the way over my shoulder during the swim). Got there, pulled on my shirt, ate a package of Sharkies (thank goodness for Sharkies), drank some water, and got on the bike.

Transition took me a little over 6 minutes.

My one goal on the bike was to keep pedaling. Keep pedaling. Weirdly, Dory from "Finding Nemo" started running through my head saying, "Keep on swimming, keep on swimming, keep on swimming swimming swimming." A little bit late on the actual event, but it was what I was doing with pedaling, and as I passed people walking their bikes, I decided I would NOT get off the bike to walk (again, except to prevent a crash).

The first loop of the bike there were a TON of people ZOOMING down the hill on the other side, some kindly saying "on your left" and others (not so kindly) shouting "LEFT! LEFT! GET OVER!" I will admit, even though I was going pretty slow (only 4 mph at a couple of points), I was awfully annoyed with the "friend" pairs who decided to ride side-by-side preventing people from passing.

And if I wanted to pass, trust me, they were obstructing the race.

The second loop of the bike there were only a few LEFT shouts and a lot more people yelling positive encouragement on the way down to those working on the way up. It was actually easier for me than the first loop--in part because I knew what to expect, and perhaps because the energy from the Sharkies was kicking in.

The third loop was pretty close to quiet. I knew if going downhill I was seeing people coming uphill, they'd really struggled somewhere along the way, so I began yelling encouragement at them.

The bike took me nearly an hour, just over 59 minutes. Heh.

Transition to the "run" (in quotes because I did not, I walked) went okay. I kinda sauntered along and even took a water bottle because I knew I'd need it. I also truly didn't know if the "comfort level" I was feeling was a temporary delusion or if I was really okay--I didn't want to push myself, drop and collapse when I was so close to meeting my goal of just finishing.

My sister met me on the hill that is referred to as "the wall" on my first loop. She and my nephew walked up the wall with me.

On my second loop, the whole course was quiet--and nearly disassembled in some parts, with cars, golf carts, and non-racing pedestrians sharing the streets. I tried jogging a bit, but found myself tripping over my feet. Walking was fine. Jogging wasn't so much tiring as I was seriously afraid I was going to faceplant as my coordinational skills were becoming challenged.

Just before I got to the wall on my second lap, I started crying.

I was suddenly overcome. I reflected on where I was, physically and mentally, back in May, and how even though I'd set out to do this, I hadn't even really believed that I could at all. I had no faith that I would have the drive, desire, or ability to do what I was very nearly done completing. The more I thought about it, the more I cried. I have come so far. Lately I'd been saying, "well, I've come a long ways, but I still have a ways to go." And the only thing in my head (besides I hope people don't see me crying) was how utterly proud of myself I was. How good I felt about myself in that moment, and how maybe I should set my sights even higher, because if I could do this, there are so many other things I could achieve if I just set out to DO it.

Then I saw the water station ahead and composed myself so I wouldn't look silly or have to explain as I chugged water. But I was still very proud of myself, because I KNEW I could finish now.

Nearly at the end, my dad put down my daughter and she ran for me. They'd prepped her well, so she knew she was supposed to be with me, but run for the finish line. I told her, "If you run, I'll keep up with you."

She's pretty fast for 3, and I'd done quite a bit, especially considering how far I've come since I started this, so that was actually a challenge for me.

I ran about the last 50 yards with her. As we were getting close, I heard the announcer call my race number and name, and then he said something like, "And this is what these events are all about! Look at this family support, her daughter pacing her into the finish line!" People started clapping and cheering. I was feeling so excited at the support of that crowd for one of the last people to cross the line as the announcer continued, "And 607 crosses the line with her coach, personal trainer, and moral support!" And the crowd cheered more.

I had so much fun finishing it wasn't until I was nearly back at my bike in the transition area that I realized the crowd wasn't cheering for me, but for the cute 3-year-old at my side.

Oh well. I did it.

The rest of the day was pretty relaxing--cleaned up and put away my race gear at the hotel, had lunch, drew on my race shirt, had my family sign it, relaxed in the hot tub at my sister's hotel, had a nice walk back and dinner with my daughter, and it wasn't until I laid down for bed I started feeling sore.

Uh oh.

No epsom salts or Amazing Dr. Amy to fix me here.

Hope I can move tomorrow.

But I DID IT.