Time to Start Procrastinating

Made the possible mistake of "casually" mentioning to my sister that I saw her Facebook posting about doing the triathlon and told her I was impressed she was going to try.

She tried to talk me into doing the triathlon with her. I laughed at her and told her she was crazy. I didn't want to tell her that I was considering it. That I'd started considering it two days ago.

I still had some things to figure out. 1: Cost. 2: Reality.

Cost
I started by looking at the registration cost. If I sign up by the end of the month, it's $110. I would also have to travel, either by car or plane, about 1000 miles (about $300 minimum, either way). I would need at least two nights of hotel rooms ($250+). And that would be the event alone. Then there would be shoes for running, swimsuits (and size extra elephant is not only hard to find, but expensive), and a bike and gear.

Reality
As much as I'm considering this, it scares the crap out of me. I also have this drive to not let others down, so if I say I'm going to do something, I either follow through or wallow in self-destructive levels of guilt for ages afterward. I feel like I need to do this in secret to a level that I'm not even sure I want to tell my husband. Yet at the same time, I'm going to need his support.

And then I realize that perhaps one tiny aspect of my problem is an ability to weave an intricate web of excuses so interconnected, complex, and compounded upon each other that no resolution is possible so therefore I cannot take action.

Perhaps it is more ridiculous for me NOT to try than to try.

I call my sister and tell her I'm considering it. She is stunned (or does a good job of pretending to be). I also tell her I'm not sure. I'm thinking that even though it would cost me more to register in, say, October (one month before the triathlon itself), it makes more sense for me to train and try to get ready than to pay for it and then not go--at least financially.

She offers to pay for it if I will commit to it by the end of May.

I can't yet. Just yesterday I took pain medication because it hurt to bend over to pick up the toilet lid, and then I had a hard time straightening. Then this morning had a headache (as is usual the day after I cave in and take the pain medication). Realize I'm spinning my web again.

My sister, in a good-hearted attempted to encourage me, lets me know that "Lots of people way bigger than you do triathlons--you'd be surprised--and they just walk the whole way, but they need something more challenging than lifting weights at the gym--and if they could do it, you could totally do it--and beat them!"

I already know I'm not entering it to win. I would be in that "I'm doing it just to see if I could finish" category. My sister, again trying to encourage me, lets me know that they have either age divisions or weight divisions--over 145 for women. It is diplomatically called the "Athena" division, but I have already told her I am entering the Hippopotamus division, if I'm doing this at all. And speaking of which, she is not to tell ANYONE that I'm considering it.

To which she responds, "Um. Oops."

Apparently she had told my dad she was going to try to convince me to do the triathlon with her. I asked her what exactly she told him. She said, "Well, I told him you laughed at me."

I told her that if it came up in conversation again, she was to tell Dad that I said I would rather jump into a vat of slugs.

Regardless, I took the dog on two walks, trying to increase my walking distance, and seeing how much I can build to. Definitely need new shoes.

If I'm going to keep thinking about this, I need to begin doing some of the physical end. I'll start tomorrow.