Apparently Only Motivated by Guilt

My current internal debate is whether guilt-induced motivation is good or bad.

Bad because it means that I only have motivation if I'm feeling guilty about something.
Bad because it means I have something to feel guilty about.
Good because at least I'm off my butt?

I'm still quite back sore from a couple of days ago and finally remembered to call my doctor to schedule an appointment. I can't get in until next Wednesday.

I have to give my sister an answer by Monday as to whether or not I'm doing this if she's going to pay for it. Since the thing that motivates me to work out most right now is the guilt when I don't, I'm not sure I'm quite in the right mindset for the challenge. I don't want to feel like I somehow "owe" her (whether or not she would feel this is irrelevant; I would feel that way) and either 1) let her down or 2) do this because I feel I owe her instead of doing it for myself.

In any case, I really don't know if my back will hold up for simply getting into shape enough to start training for the triathlon since I haven't felt like any of my workouts were even that demanding, yet couldn't push it any harder because of my back (thus the current lack of fitness level).

For tonight's workout, it meant walking a mile in 30 minutes (again with the 2 mile an hour pace). This time I hadn't taken painkillers first, so it did hurt even at the slow rate--although I managed longer than before when I was at the faster rates. Again though, my heart rate didn't even get into the triple digits.

Then I went on the recumbent bike for about 20 minutes and actually did manage to get my heart rate up, but since I'd walked first, that ended up hurting too.

The good thing about my workout? I managed to get done before they came in to clean the locker room.

I feel like all I do is whine about my back pain. I'm trying to do something about it in the sense that not exercising hasn't worked, so attempting to exercise at low to moderate levels to affect change should be doing something. Perhaps it will take longer and I just need to be patient.

Like succinctness, patience is not one of my stronger qualities.

Motivation through guilt apparently is, although I'm not sure that even counts as "quality."