Crazy Is as Crazy Does

I followed my sister's link to the triathlon web site. I nosed around through everything I could find, including registration, reviews of the race from prior years, tips for beginners, training schedules, age/weight divisions, and more.

I may be sitting at a laptop, but a good part of my brain is operating--against my rational better judgment--as if I may actually follow through with this. The rational part is telling me that if I was serious, I would have started training two years ago to get into reasonable shape so that I could think about starting to train for an athletic event.

Then the rational part reminds me that I haven't been able to find anything to motivate me to do anything differently in the last five years, so why not? I start breaking it down.

The Swim
This is a half mile swim in open water. Good news: Even when I haven't been to the gym in months, I can do a half mile swim. It may take me 20-25 minutes, but I can totally do it. Bad news: the pool is only 25 meters long and I have a tendency to pant and gasp whenever I get to the end. Good news: it doesn't take me long to get past that if I go regularly. Bad news: last time I tried swimming in open water, I nearly had a panic attack, definitely had a meltdown, and retreated to the beach and a nice safe book. Will have to look into swimming in not pools as part of training.

The Bike Ride
This is a 15K (9 mile) ride. I once rode my bike to California, weighed down with a tent, sleeping bag, food, camping gear, gallons of water, and a good dose of insanity. I was in better shape then (and way better shape by the end of the trip), but the slowest I went, with all that gear, was about 9 miles an hour. So if I have a decent bike (must see if Dad will let me have/borrow Mom's old bike), I could do this as well.

The Run
According to the web site, 3.1 miles. Hmmm.

Here's the thing. What happened five years ago was a back injury at work. I was lifting and felt something shift. The thought that went through my head was That's not good. So I lifted again. Next thought? I'm not doing that again. In fact, maybe I should go sit down for a bit. Half an hour later, I couldn't stand up. That night, I had to crawl to get to the bathroom.

Pharmaceuticals, chiropractic, physical therapy, and rest all helped--somewhat. Acupuncture finally provided some real relief, but there have been flare-ups since. The pain has been so bad that just walking to the end of the block with the dog will prevent me from trying anything that demanding for another two days.

It's been so long now that although I can blame the initial weight gain on my back, the ongoing issue I'm not sure I can. I'm no longer sure whether I'm not exercising because my back hurts or my back hurts because I'm not exercising. (Aside my back therapy exercises, that is.)

So back to the run of this triathlon. Right now, because of my back cycle, I'm not terribly fond of walking, let alone running. I've never really liked running for that matter.

Okay, I HATE running.

People in my family think I hate slugs. I don't actually hate them. I'm terrified of them at a psychologically phobic level. There's a difference. I see slugs and I scream and run.

Hmmm, maybe someone just needs to chase me with a slug.

Okay, so while I think I could probably reasonably make it through the swim and the biking portion, clearly this running bit is going to be the major part of the challenge.

But I said I was looking for a challenge--something to do differently than anything in the last five years. If this isn't a challenge, I don't know what is. I honestly don't know if I've ever run 3.1 miles continuously in my life. I've also never wanted to. Honestly, I don't really want to now, but this triathlon thing is still in my head, swimming, biking, and thinking about running into something new.

Someone may have to chase me with a slug all the way to the finish line (perhaps my sister). I'll be hoarse from the screaming by time I get there, but I just might get there.