If This Is a Trend, I Don't Want To Be Trendy

Holy Flakebrain, Batman.

I have a calendar with things marked on it. Really and truly. But somehow they've been--well--off lately.

Last night, just before bed, my neighbor posted on Facebook that she was going to do a 30-mile bike ride today. I asked if I could come along and by time we worked everything out, she was going to start riding at 9:30 this morning, I was going to take my daughter to her last ballet class at 9:00 and join her around 10:30 on her second 10-mile loop and do 20 miles with her.

A little complicated, but doable.

Unless, of course, I'm me, and can't remember to pack everything, schedule everything, and get them all together at the same time and place they need to be. Which lately, I can't.

But, since I am me, I simply think I have my stuff together, and happily take off for what should be a fun-filled day.

Today being no exception to my recent history, I pack up the following things in my car: laptop to keep myself busy during ballet, daughter with ballet supplies, bicycle, trailer, helmets, spare tube, spare tire, pump, snacks, sunscreen, and plenty of water. This is in addition to my full-stocked "mom purse" which weighs damn near 50 pounds, no exaggeration.

We arrive at ballet and I'm amazed that there is a ton of parking despite that we arrived later than usual (parking is very scarce there). We get to the door and it's locked. Because apparently ballet was a 5-week class, not 6.

Oh, well. I think. I'll just meet my friend at the start of her bike ride and do the whole thing with her.

Which is when I realize I forgot my bike shoes. Which wouldn't be horribly terrible since I've ridden my clipless* pedal bike in tennis shoes, except that I'm wearing Moroccan leather sandals.

*I learned that what I had been calling "clip" pedals (where the shoe has a latching mechanism that connects to the pedal) are actually "clipless" pedals. "Clip" pedals have a kind of a toe basket device that the toe of the shoe slides into, but there is no latching mechanism.

Plus, this is 30 miles and even if I had tennis shoes (which I didn't), I didn't have socks, and 30 miles is different than the 2-3 miles I've ridden without my bike shoes. I didn't think it would be much fun.

So I quickly call my neighbor (who I was going to bike with) to see if she'd left home--she had, but she turned around for me. Then I called my husband, to tell him to leave my shoes and socks on the porch. He didn't answer. Tried the home phone. No answer. Tried the cell phone. Finally he answered, but he had already left for work.

Called my neighbor, let her know she could turn around again. Apologized profusely.

Passing the horribly backed-up traffic I knew I'd have to fight to get back to where we were going to bike, I decided to skip the bike ride and take my daughter to one of her preschool park playdates. I also decided to stop at home, so picked up the dog.

Unfortunately, my daughter, whether upset at no ballet or just because she's four and the world doesn't meet her demands, had a meltdown. She threw a chair, so I picked her up and put her in time out, which is in the corner by the front door. She immediately started throwing things and kicking the wall and the door.

I told her that I would start her time when she had settled down, which resulted in several "I don't like you ANY MORE" proclamations and more wall-kicking. She would settle down slightly, I would go check, and she'd be sneaking out of the corner.

I'd replace her in the corner, which would start another round of throwing/kicking/"I'm never going to love you EVER AGAIN IN THE WHOLE WORLD" proclamations.

I was stuck. Usually she takes her time-outs with a fair amount of grace (not pleased, but relatively calmly), and we're able to quickly move on.

After a half hour, I was feeling like my discipline tool was NOT working, and I was at a loss.

Whether or not this was a good idea, I don't know, but since I didn't want to spank her--correction, since it was taking every microgram of personal control not to spank her--I let her know that until she settled down, I would be taking away toys.

I started with her pink bouncy dog, Wahoo. Then her bicycle. Then ALL of her stuffed toys, including her pillow pet, at which point she yelled out, "MOMMY! I'M BEING QUIET NOW!"

True, the kicking had stopped.

So I told her I wanted a little more quiet time out time and then she could come see me and we could talk. After a few minutes, she came over, apologized for throwing the chair, and I explained that there were ways she could get her toys back. One of which was by doing things the FIRST TIME I asked (on a different note, this issue has been driving me NUTS lately). I asked her if she wanted to practice and found a little pick up chore for her. When it was done, I asked which toy she wanted back. Wahoo. I got him out. She was so proud of herself and THRILLED.

A few minutes later, I asked her to help me with a couple of things, and when she did immediately, I let her pick more toys to have back.

It worked really well. I'm completely enjoying this right now because I have a feeling that 1) it won't last (although I'm hoping it will, for at least a little while) and 2) I have a hunch I'm going to look back at this when she's a teenager and think, "...and I thought I had problems then? SHEESH!"

We then went to the park playdate and when we got home, had lunch out on the deck and played dice games. Of course by, "played dice games," I mean, "she rolled the dice I told her to when it was her turn." And she beat me. Repeatedly.

When she started acting up again, I sent her off to a nap which--get this--she went straight to the first time I asked.

I may not be able to figure out where I'm supposed to be when, and my kid is thoroughly being four and doing all the boundary-testing that implies. In a flash of insight (which occurred as we needed to be going to bed), I created a good behavior chart, with daily categories for various things.

We'll see how it goes tomorrow.